the weeks best late night jokes

„Since 1980, there have been 91 breaches of security at the White House. Well, 92 if you count George Bush.“
David Letterman

Stephen Colbert on the „GOP Purity Test,“ which defines 10 bedrock Republican principles: „They’re like the Ten Commandments, if one of the tablets said ‚F‘ and the other said ‚U.‘ I believe this is perfect. A party of white Christian men who call Obama a Nazi, pushing the concept of purity.“ (Video clip)

„The ‚Today‘ show was broadcast live from Afghanistan this morning. It went head-to-head with Afghanistan’s number one morning show, „Good Morning and Death to America.“
Jimmy Fallon

„Rush Limbaugh says black people are depressed because President Obama isn’t doing a very good job. That proving, once again, that no one has their finger on the pulse of the African-American community like Rush Limbaugh.
Conan O’Brien

„In his speech on the economy, President Obama said that we have to ‚continue to spend our way out‘ of the recession. Now, I don’t know much about economics, but aren’t we like a trillion dollars in debt? Spending our way out of the recession? Isn’t that like trying to drink your way out of alcoholism? I’m just saying.“
Jay Leno

„Yesterday in Minnesota, a man was arrested because he threw two tomatoes at Sarah Palin during a book signing. Security immediately arrested the guy and gave him his own show on MSNBC.“
Conan O’Brien

„I have to say, not a great day for President Obama. A new poll shows that President Obama has the lowest approval rating of any first-year president in the history of presidents. Things are so bad today the president said the surge in Afghanistan was all Tiger Woods’s idea.“
Craig Ferguson

„Well, at the Copenhagen climate summit — where they talk about the environment, you know, saving the environment — the delegates had 1,200 limousines and 140 private jets, or as they call that in Malibu, ‚Earth Day.'“
Jay Leno

„It was a busy night at the White House last night. And they had a big party. And during the evening, this is true, President Obama got up and danced with Santa Claus. That happened, yeah. Or as Fox News reported it, ‚Obama dances with old man who makes kid sit on his lap.'“
Conan O’Brien