The Week’s Best Late-Night Jokes

„I am stunned that John Edwards made a sex tape. Do you realize this guy is basically Paris Hilton with better hair? That’s all he is.“
Jay Leno

„And, of course, Edwards has no remorse. Today, he called ABC to see if he could be the next ‚Bachelor.'“
Jay Leno

„Here’s big news: United States Senate reconfirms chairman of the Fed. Ben Bernanke was reconfirmed. So he’ll have the job for four more years. I just hope we have an economy for four more years.“
David Letterman

„Oh, here’s something interesting and important. The Pentagon now wants to allow gays to serve openly in the military. You know what that means, ladies and gentlemen? More parades.“
David Letterman

„I think it was Bill Clinton who popularized the ‚Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell‚ policy. But don’t confuse that with another Clinton policy — ‚Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell Hillary.‘ That was a whole different policy.“
David Letterman

„They’re now coming out with the new, 75th edition of Monopoly, this time with a round board. No more square boards. And actually, they’ve updated the whole game. In the new version, the banker is a Wall Street CEO He overextends mortgages, he loses the bank, and when things go under, he uses his get-out-of-jail-for-free card. So it’s all very realistic.“
Jay Leno

„At the town hall event, President Obama also said jobs will be our No. 1 focus in 2010. He then added, ‚Specifically, mine and Biden’s jobs.'“
Jimmy Fallon