The Week’s Best Late-Night Jokes

„James Cameron, who directed ‚Avatar,‘ is in a feud with Glenn Beck, because Cameron called him a mad man. The two are very different. One makes millions creating fictional stories, and the other is James Cameron.“
Craig Ferguson

„I’ll tell you how excited the president is. Today, he changed his slogan from ‚Yes, we can,‘ to ‚Yes, we finally did something.'“
Jay Leno

„See, and the nice thing is, if you lose your job, you know, you’re still covered, which is great news for the Democrats in November.“
Jay Leno

„Of course, this all couldn’t have been done without the help of Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi. And today, the president thanked her for her unblinking support. Actually, Nancy Pelosi used the Internet to help gain support for this. She reached out to people on her favorite social networking site, Icantmovemyfacebook.com.“
Jay Leno

„I have been thinking about the healthcare problem and how to pay for healthcare. If you took all the money the Republicans have spent trying to stop healthcare and all the money Democrats have spent trying to get healthcare, we could afford healthcare.“
Jimmy Fallon

„President Obama won one of the great — they’re calling it — the ‚great legislative victories of the last 50 years‘ last night. He won health care reform approval to extend coverage to millions of uninsured Americans, or as the Republicans are calling it ‚Armageddon.‘ Personally, I think it’s great. Maybe now, I can finally get a gynecologist to see me.“
Jimmy Kimmel

„Well, as you know, health care reform was passed by the House last night. Supporters of the bill say the American people now get the same health benefits members of Congress get, which is great. See, if we can just get some of those other perks — the free travel, the envelopes with the cash in them, the get-out-of-jail-free cards — oh, all of that could be great.“
Jay Leno