„Last night the Dalai Lama implied that the killing of Osama bin Laden was justified. I think his exact quote was, „I love all living things, but that guy was a dick.“
Conan O’Brien
„Osama bin Laden’s death has been in the news all day. Leftish stations are going, ‚President Obama saves the world.‘ Stations on the right are going, ‚Obama kills fellow Muslim.'“
Craig Ferguson
„How about those Navy Seals. We’re getting our money’s worth there. They broke into Osama bin Laden’s compound with 12-foot walls topped by barbed wire, and fired a warning shot into his head.“
David Letterman
„There’s already been some trouble for Osama bin Laden in the afterlife. There was a mix up and he was greeted by 72 vegans.“
David Letterman
„Bin Laden was buried at sea. Or as Dick Cheney calls it, ‚the ultimate waterboarding.'“
Jay Leno
„Osama bin Laden, as we speak, is living with Spongebob in a pineapple under the sea.“
Jimmy Kimmel
„It looks like President Obama has a new campaign slogan: ‚Yes I Did.'“
Jay Leno
„Osama bin Laden was apparently shot twice in the face. It looks like Dick Cheney may have been involved.“
Jay Leno
„Osama bin Laden is dead, which means the No. 1 threat to America is now the KFC Double Down.“
Conan O’Brien