„A new poll shows that President Obama is losing the popularity boost he got after Osama bin Laden’s death. Or as Gadhafi’s putting it, ‚Uh oh.'“
Jimmy Fallon
„President Obama has offered bailout money to keep Greece from defaulting on its loans. Yeah, when Greece thanked him, Obama was like, ‚Don’t mention it . . . to China, because it’s their money.'“
Jimmy Fallon
„The Chinese economy has shown signs of slowing down. Experts say that’s what happens when your workforce starts to enter its teens.“
Conan O’Brien
„Anthony Weiner admitted to sending inappropriate messages to several women via Twitter, text, email, and Facebook. I think the lesson here is that if you’re going to send explicit pictures of yourself, send them through MySpace, where no one will notice.“
Jimmy Kimmel
„This is why Twitter exists. Members of Congress can now send you pictures of their penises electronically. Remember the old days of Senator Larry Craig when you had to get in your car, drive to the airport, find the airport bathroom, try to figure out which stall he’s in, knock on the door…Now they send it right to your house.“
Jay Leno
„Congressman Weiner is in a lot of trouble since he tweeted those pictures. But good news for him, he just found out he’ll be allowed to keep his porn name … Anthony Weiner.“
Conan O’Brien
„What?! The congressman had a sex scandal and had to apologize to Bill Clinton? For what?! Copyright infringement?“
Jon Stewart
„Sociologists have documented this. Here are the stages of a scandal: First you have the denial, then you have the tearful confession, then it’s resignation, and then you appear on ‚Dancing With the Stars.'“
David Letterman