„The ‚Occupy Wall Street‘ movement has basically been a four-week downtown Manhattan live-in, which has spread to cities all around the country, causing the media to move its coverage dial from ‚Blackout‘ to ‚Circus.'“
Jon Stewart
„Police in Massachusetts have arrested a man for allegedly planning to blow up the Pentagon and the Capitol by using radio-controlled model airplanes filled with explosives. Is this the best the terrorists have now? Using toys? What is Wile E. Coyote joined Al Qaeda. What’s next? Maybe a batch of poison cookies cooked from an EZ Bake oven?“
Jay Leno
„Saudi Arabia has given women the right to vote, but there’s a catch. The only form of ID accepted at the polling station: Driver’s licenses.“
Jay Leno
„Police in Arkansas are looking for a man who breaks into homes and sucks the toes of sleeping women. They believe he’s either an escaped mental patient or a former President of the United States. [In Clinton voice] ‚Take off your slippers.'“
Jimmy Fallon