Best Late-Night Jokes 2011

„President Obama was heckled by a protestor who called him ‚the Antichrist.‘ The protestor was detained, but released without being charged, and then later he was offered his own show on Fox News.“
Jay Leno

“Sarah Palin is driving all over the country in a bus, I guess to pick up where Charlie Sheen left off.“
Jimmy Kimmel

“In the wake of President Obama’s decision to not release pictures of Osama bin Laden’s body, a number of new conspiracy theories are surfacing claiming that bin Laden is not really dead. Which means Barack Obama will go down in history as the first black person ever to have to prove that he killed someone.“
Seth Meyers

“This morning on the ‚Today‘ show, Jenna Bush interviewed Ozzy Osbourne. Ozzy was so confused and inarticulate that Jenna accidentally called him ‚dad.“‘
Conan O’Brien

“What?! The congressman had a sex scandal and had to apologize to Bill Clinton? For what?! Copyright infringement?“
Jon Stewart , on Weinergate

“Sunday is the 100th birthday of Ronald Reagan, and all over America, Republicans are going to celebrate this by throwing big parties and leaving the bill for Democrats to pay.“
Bill Maher

“The Occupy Wall Street protesters gathered outside Rupert Murdoch’s house chanting, ‚What do we want?‘ Murdoch interrupted saying, ‚I already know, I hacked your phones.“‘
Craig Ferguson

“Fox News, call your doctor, because the erection you now have is going to last much longer than four hours.“
Jon Stewart on the Obama administratin’s Solyndra scandal

“The Taliban is now on Twitter. So if they start following you, go hide someplace where no one will find you … like MySpace or Friendster.“
Jimmy Kimmel