this weeks late night jokes

„Newt Gingrich crushed Mitt Romney on Saturday (in South Carolina). … Gingrich sealed his victory in last week’s debates by going after America’s most dangerous enemy: debate moderators.“

Stephen Colbert

„‚Newt triumphed with 40% of the vote to Mitt Romney’s 28% — a gap so wide, you could fit Newt’s head in it.“

Stephen Colbert

„We were ready for Romney to win the Republican nomination, so we had our puns ready: ‚Bright Lights, Big Mitty,‘ ‚Mittizen Bain,‘ and „Mormon-y, Less Problems.“ But then … ‚The Gingrich Who Stole South Carolina.'“

Jon Stewart

„There’s a State of the Union drinking game. Let me just say this, if you really are playing the State of the Union drinking game, you’re probably an alcoholic.“

Jimmy Kimmel

„Obama focused on four areas he believes are the keys to restoring economic security. Energy, manufacturing, education, and TV shows about cupcakes, which we love.“

Jimmy Kimmel

„People who saw Steven Tyler sing the National Anthem at the Patriots game yesterday said, ‚Nancy Regan really looks good for her age.“ But Steven Tyler got some of the lyrics wrong, so now everyone thinks the song goes, ‚Flag looks like a lady.'“

Conan O’Brien