this weeks late night jokes

“Donald Trump’s sons shot and killed endangered animals on a safari. They got an elephant, a crocodile, and that thing on their dad’s head.”
Jimmy Fallon

“Rick Santorum wants to crack down on pornography. Most political analysts say it could hurt him with the ‘every single man in America’ vote.”
Jimmy Kimmel

„Rick Santorum wants to ban pornography. That’s one of the few thriving industries America has left.“
David Letterman

„Last week a tourist in Puerto Rico took a picture of Rick Santorum shirtless on the beach. I don’t want to say he looked chubby, but his new Secret Service code name is ‚Newt Gingrich.'“
Jimmy Fallon

„That’s right — Rick Santorum was seen lying on the beach without his shirt on. He would have worn sunscreen, but he’s not really into protection.“
Jimmy Fallon

„When I heard the Republicans were in President Obama’s home state, I said, ‚They’re holding a primary in Kenya?'“
Craig Ferguson

„John McCain’s daughter Megan is going to be in the April issue of Playboy. I’m just glad John’s not alive to see this.“
David Letterman

„Here’s what I like about Rod Blagojevich. If you want to be governor of Illinois, of course you have to run. And then you have to get elected, and then you have to go to federal prison. It’s just part of their tradition.“
David Letterman

„This weekend President Obama will visit the border that separates North and South Korea. Not to be outdone, Newt Gingrich will visit the border that separates the KFC from the Taco Bell.“
Jimmy Fallon