Facebook Late Night Quotes

„After losing billions of dollars, Mark Zuckerberg is being sued for hiding Facebook’s weak financial report. Apparently he put it somewhere no one will ever look – MySpace.“
Jimmy Fallon

„Facebook has lost so much money that founder Mark Zuckerberg has been named an honorary board member of JPMorgan.“
Jay Leno

„Facebook shares fell again today. At one point this afternoon, Mark Zuckerberg went from being a billionaire to being ’still a billionaire.‘
Conan O’Brien

„Mark Zuckerberg got married a couple of days ago. At their wedding, Zuckerberg’s wife wore a dress that cost nearly $5,000. That is until the dress went public. Now it’s worth $2,000.“
Conan O’Brien

„Mark Zuckerberg and his girlfriend got married — one day after Facebook raised $16 billion on the stock market. Zuckerberg listed the 10 things he loves about her, while she listed the 16 billion things she loves about him.“
Jimmy Fallon

„Some people use Facebook to check up on ex-boyfriends or ex-girlfriends. That just seems creepy to me. I like it the old-fashioned way. If you want to check up on an ex, go through their trash.“
Craig Ferguson

„Andy Warhol said that in the future everyone will be famous for 15 minutes. Facebook is exactly like that except you’re not really famous and your 15 minutes goes on forever.“
Craig Ferguson

„That Facebook guy, Mark Zuckerberg, got married over the weekend. His company goes public, and he’s now worth $100 billion. Then he gets married. He may not be as smart as we thought. His wife’s a lovely woman. He stole her from the Winklevoss twins.“
David Letterman

„Facebook is worth $100 billion. Today it was friended by Greece.“
David Letterman

„On the first day of trading, Facebook shares rose less than expected. We were promised that Facebook would take off like a rocket. Apparently it’s a North Korean rocket.“
Jay Leno

„Have you heard about Facebook co-founder Eduardo Saverin? He’s renounced his U.S. citizenship because it’ll save him millions of dollars of taxes — to which Mitt Romney said, ‚That’s what the Cayman Islands are for.'“
Jay Leno