this weeks late night jokes

„It’s being reported that Mitt Romney’s goal for tonight’s debate is to make Barack Obama look like Jimmy Carter. Meanwhile, Barack Obama’s goal is to make Mitt Romney look like Mitt Romney.“
Conan O’Brien

„Today was not only the first presidential debate, it was also President Obama’s 20th wedding anniversary. I think the president got a little confused. At one point, he told Michelle that she was out of touch with the middle class and Romney that he looks as beautiful as the day they first met.“
Conan O’Brien

„For tomorrow’s debate, President Obama’s advisers have been working with him to keep his responses short. In fact, the only words the president plans on saying are ‚bin Laden‘ and ‚dead.‘ That’s it.“
Conan O’Brien

„Al Gore is going to be covering the debate for his network, Current TV. Al Gore on Current TV, talking about Mitt Romney. That is like the perfect storm of boring.“
Jay Leno

„A new survey found that over 35 percent of Americans actually plan on voting before Election Day. Not for president of the United States, just for ‚Dancing With the Stars.'“
Jimmy Fallon

„Mitt Romney is doing what he can. He’s trying very hard. He wants to unite America, the rich with the wealthy, the poor with the indigent, and the white with the Caucasian.“
David Letterman